I've never been so afraid of going to school.
I used to love school. Even AJ.
But after everything I heard, things changed.
I didn't know how I was suppose to act in school anymore.

And that is why I hate myself for breaking down IN school today.
Of all places to explode, I did it in school.
Yay, add 'crybaby' to the list of 'jocelyn's bad points.'

You know, I won't care if I had support.
But now all of us face it.
Separately.

I actually don't know what happened to me today.
Ask me why I cried, I can tell you I really am not very sure.
But it felt good. (just not in school next time please)

And so sorry to the people who saw me.
I'm sorry for making you spend so much effort to cheer me up.
But thank you so much.
It meant a lot.

You guys know who you are.
Wanchin, Desiree, Yilin. You guys are the best. I love you all so so so much!
Gerald. You're so cute and sweet. Thanks for the messages.
NeoWeijie. Thank you for being so nice eventhough i always bully you. Heh.
Glen. Thanks for trying to make me laugh during physics! haha.
Justin. Haha, you're not bad after all. hehe. :)
LWeijie. Thank you. For your encouragement and support.
Shaam! Sorry for snapping at you. Thanks for asking . :)

And especially to Erin and Suen: Erin, thanks for staying up last night with us eventhough we know you were falling asleep.. haha. ... Suen, we're in this together okay? I'm sorry for influencing you, perhaps I should have controlled myself better, but like you said, this things are hard to control. The holidays are here. It's time we take a break.

And that is why we're going to watch a movie tonight. Evan Almighty. I have no idea what kind of a movie that is going to be but I really don't care anymore. I hope it makes us laugh though. :)

And to continue from above.
I know that 'this is the real world.'
But why does it have to happen now?
Whoever insults them insults me.
I will not forgive you for it.
I mean it.

Maybe this shall be a lesson for all of us.
Be careful of who you trust.
So now, about my previous posts bout me being unable to concentrate and control my emotions... I think, I've beginning to doubt.
Beginning to think that it's all illusion.
That it's all just my imagination.
And that, it's not really true and going to happen.

Maybe this will then help me concentrate for my PROMOS.

Ahhh. I finally see a silver lining to this dark grey cloud.

What happened to us?
Why have we drifted apart?
What happened to the times when we could just talk and laugh and enjoy each other's company?
It's such a dread to talk to each other now.
Especially when every remark is being replied with a 'nothing lar.'

I seriously wish things were back to how they were before.
It doesnt have to be that good, but not as terrible as how it is now.
Why can't we just be one family again?
I don't get it.

Why must it always result in someone breaking down?
Why let the tears come when you can prevent it?
Share the sorrows. Share.

I miss the times.
Just a few months back.

JOCELYN!
CONCENTRATE FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

I've been staring at GP and the laptop for one hour plus. Nothing.

Before that, was emo-ing with suen for one hour.
I never got to ask her the question I've been wanting people to answer for me.
But never mind, there's still time.

Today's emo day. I realize when holidays are nearing we tend to emo a lot. I wonder why...

GP SUCKS.
And, PE rocks. :) ran 7 rounds today. heeh altogether of course. And i'm not as heavy as I thought. HAHA. =)

I have got to go dip my head into a bucket of water or something. Wash all my thoughts away.




Byebye.

I have got to start controlling my emotions.
If not everything is going to go haywire.
And about that decision I made, I think I don't care anymore.
Fickle, yes, but I'm a girl. We're allowed to be. And that's not discrimination. It's reality. :)

Anyways, gosh. There's so much pressure for PROMOS. :'(
Starting to feel a bit scared...

Weeee Holidays are coming! And good for me, I have NO plans for the weekends! But actually i wanna go out and play lar, because hostel life is so boringgg... Anyone free? haha. :)

Cheers. :)

Gosh i have to clarify some things.

First of all, no I am not attached.
All my emo crap down this is all BGR UNRELATED.

:) Yup.

And I'm in school now. I don't know what I'm doing in school, but I don want to go back. HAven't had the mood to do anything today. I seriously do not know why. I spent my one hour break just stoning and flipping between homework to do. Gosh what's wrong with me?

Yeah anyways. That's all I have to say I guess. Tata.


Cheer up!
You're human just like everyone else.
Take a break. :)

Mr. Chin is the best teacher you can ever have!
He specially make arrangements for me so i can go to mt kinabalu on a different flight!!! haha
YES! I'm going to conquer kinabalu! :)

ANd YES! Suen seira and I are going back to msia and coming back TOGETHER! :) :) On the same bus!! haha. But on the way there got intruder- Darrel Ang. LOL.

Anyways, today was PW day. We went to the blind school and i freaked out when interviewing them. Don't know why. Then went to macs. CAMWHORED. lol.


GOsh this is so hilarious. When I posted in xanga that i'm 'shifting', my sister thought I shifted room or hostel or what not. Then my concerned parents rang up: 'YOU SHIFTED ROOOM?' LOL. funny.

I finally mustered up enough courage.
:) I am so brave.
Whether i got a positive reply or not it doesnt matter. ...

ARGH.
I hate myself for oversleeping.
SORRY.

Haha poor Gerald. He was helping me blog then I forgot I signed into ODAC account so after he finished and pressed save, there was an error. LOL.

Hah. Anyway he was talking bout how crazy I was during maths because I kept laughing. Hey I was just happy I knew how to solve the question marr. It's a big achievement okay! Coz INTEGRATION SUCKS!

And oh, I will be going for some marathon on Sunday. Gosh. 6km. For a girl who hasnt ran long distance in at least 5 months, its going to be such a big tortureeee..! But OH well, I guess having fun is the key thing. :)

I revived this site.
No idea why, but i just got kind of sick with xanga. I wanna write more interesting and frequent updates here. Help me okay? Give me some motivation.

Gosh, everyone around me seeems so sad.
CHEER UP GUYS!
Have some icecream.
It works.

I'm supposed to be doing applications of integration now, but I got tempted by the computer. I wonder how people study with the computer on beside them. I used to be able to do that, but not anymore. I guess its because I don't have free internet access now. (which is so pathetic)

ODAC is officially ending this friday. Ahh. Don't know whether to be happy or sad. Sad in the sense that no more fun and all, happy in the sense that wednesdays and fridays are free! But to do what? To study. =.=

Will keep updating. :)


Hey you, SMILE!
Don't like to see you so sad everyday.
Just forget about the past and move on. :)
Time will change things.